The month of December has always been a bit of a mixed blessing for me. My birthday falls smack in the middle of the month. Then of course, there is Christmas and all the wonderful festivities that come with December. That's the good part.
However....the down side is: you drink so much and eat so much that inevitably you find yourself literally ballooning in size when the new year comes.
So.....I decided to try this 13 Day Metabolism Diet. Some call it 13 Days of hell, so I asked myself: "How bad can it really be?" So, when Domina decided to go on this diet, I rose to the challenge and joined her. Yes, the 5kg that I picked up during December also had something to do with it.
Apparently, they say that this diet improves your metabolism. You lose between 9kg and 20kg in the 13 days. And because of your much improved metabolism, the weight stays off. Even after you have gone back to normal eating. Look, I think it stands to reason that you can't eat the way I was eating throughout December and expect NOT to gain any weight. But if you eat a fair amount, you will keep the weight off.
They are also very adamant that if you cheat even slightly, you will lose all benefits of this diet. Every single thing on the diet has been put there for a reason. So behave! I am not even allowed to suck on a mint. If I feel my breath getting a bit funky (which inevitably it will, from hunger), I have to brush my teeth. Not even "sugar free" gum is allowed.
So, let's see if it will live up to the expectation:
Saturday 05 January 2013 (Day 1)
Starting Weight: 87.0 Kg
My first problem....I don't drink coffee. I can't. I have not touched caffeine in 12 years. And I'll be damned if I am going to fall off the wagon over some diet. So, we agreed that I would substitute coffee with Green Tea. Which tastes quite rubbish, really. Second problem, I noticed that there is ham on it. I don't eat pork, either. So we substituted that with chicken slices. I really hope none of that messes up my results. Third problem (sort off) is that I have to drink at least two litres of water per day. I think I drank 2 litres of water the whole of 2012. I HATE drinking water. That stuff tastes awful. Who drinks that?
Breakfast: Green Tea for breakfast. Awful! But not a train smash.
Lunch: Boiled spinach (yuck), tomato and 2 boiled eggs. That was not bad at all. And I had dinner to look forward to.
Dinner: Green salad (lettuce, cucumber, green pepper, raw mushrooms with balsamic vinegar mixed with some lemon juice) and (thankfully) a grilled 200g steak. Very tasty and filling. Half way through it I was full. But I knew it would be AGES before I get the next meal. So i soldiered on very bravely.
Honestly....not a bad start at all. My energy levels were quite high. Didn't really have any hunger pangs at all. So I am very upbeat. Great start this....
Sunday 06 January 2013 (Day 2)
Weight: 86.1 Kg (1kg lost)
The weight loss is not staggering. But, hey! it's a start. Even if I lose the weight at this rate throughout the 13 day period, I will end up at 74 Kg. Which would be fantastic. My belly measured a HEFTY 101 cm when I started. I really want to see what that will read on day 13.
Breakfast: Once again....Green Tea. I am anxiously waiting for lunch time!
Lunch: 200g of ham (or in my case, shaved chicken slices) and 100g tub of plain yoghurt. I enjoyed that, actually. Honestly, most of this diet, I think I will be able to carry over into my normal routine.
Dinner: Green Salad and 200g steak again. Tasted awesome!
I must mention, in the interests of full disclosure, that Domina walked in, just before lunch time and announced that she is DONE. She quits, and she wants pizza for dinner. I was quite hungry during the day...but the lunch helped. Worse still, I had to go see some friends and they had a massive cheese platter on the table and ice cold Heineken! I sat with them for a full hour, salivating at the contents of the table, drinking my ice cold water.....and I lived.
On my way back, I had to pick up Domina's pizza. And drive with it in the car. BUT I lived.
I absolutely loved my dinner! And I attacked my steak voraciously. Can't wait for Day 3.
Lunch: 200g of ham (or in my case, shaved chicken slices) and 100g tub of plain yoghurt. I enjoyed that, actually. Honestly, most of this diet, I think I will be able to carry over into my normal routine.
Dinner: Green Salad and 200g steak again. Tasted awesome!
I must mention, in the interests of full disclosure, that Domina walked in, just before lunch time and announced that she is DONE. She quits, and she wants pizza for dinner. I was quite hungry during the day...but the lunch helped. Worse still, I had to go see some friends and they had a massive cheese platter on the table and ice cold Heineken! I sat with them for a full hour, salivating at the contents of the table, drinking my ice cold water.....and I lived.
On my way back, I had to pick up Domina's pizza. And drive with it in the car. BUT I lived.
I absolutely loved my dinner! And I attacked my steak voraciously. Can't wait for Day 3.
Monday 07 January 2013 (Day 3)
Weight: 84.9 Kg (2kg lost)
Breakfast: Green Tea and a slice of wholewheat toast. Some versions of the diet say that you can put a bit of butter on the toast. While some say that you can have as much toast as you want. I'll stick to a maximum of 2 dry slices. Just for control. Today, I had one only.
By 10h00, I regretted having one slice of wholewheat for breakfast, as I felt my stomach rumbling. But just like a person feeling some muscle pain after gym, I enjoyed the hunger pangs, as I imagined that the rumbling was just fat melting from my stomach and muscles forming. Hey, one can only dream. If you won't endure the pain of situps and crunches, the least you can do is endure some hunger pangs. That's my logic.
Lunch: Two boiled eggs and a green salad with tomato. NOT great. But at least, I was full. And I loved the fact that I have lost 2 full Kg's in 2 days. That was really inspiring. So much so, that I decided to go for a 4km jog, in the blistering heat, in the middle of the day. That was incredibly stupid! But I enjoyed it nonetheless. Until I got back and discovered what dinner is. I have just burnt off all the lunch that I ate and now I discover that tonight's dinner is the lightest so far. If anybody sees me walking towards McDonalds at 22h00 tonight, don't get in my way. I WILL be deranged!
Dinner: 1 Slice of ham (or chicken in my case) a green salad and a fruit. Really? NO grown man should be made to eat like this. Certainly none that had such a measly breakfast and lunch. AND foolishly went for a jog. I swear, if I don't have abs like Usher at the end of these 13 days, there WILL be trouble.
But I am staying strong. Let's see what happens at 10 tonight. PS: The Indian neighbours are cooking up a STORM, right now. I may have to kill them all.
Tuesday 08 January 2013 (Day 4)
Weight: 84.5 Kg (a disappointing 0.4Kg)
Ok, so I wake up quite grumpy. I went to bed hungry and my energy levels were not at their best. But I was very positive. I figure: If I managed to lose 2 Kg in 2 days, while eating steak, hell, I have probably lost 4kg overnight, with the measly meals I ate yesterday.
So, you can imagine my surprise when I discovered I lost a measly 400g. I am FUMING! This is the closest I have ever come to just calling it a day and just buying myself a slice of cheese cake. Dammit!
Anyway, I must soldier on. So, I just had the usual breakfast, a cup of tea and 4 (yes, FOUR) slices of wholewheat crackerbread. And that was the highlight of the morning.
Lunch time: It gets worse. Damn carrots. That's it. Carrots. Nothing more.
Dinner: A fruit salad and 200g of plain yoghurt. In the words of Tupac...."I see death around the corner"
The only thing keeping me sane right now, is the thought of tomorrow. Tomorrow's lunch and dinner are going to be amazing. I am salivating at the very thought.
Right now, all that is keeping me on this diet is willpower. Oh, and the fact that I have gone public with it, so my failure would be equally public. So.....I am staying on.
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