I was a waiter once. In the six months from varsity to my first proper job. As waiters go, i was pretty lousy. I forgot utensils and condiments ALL the time. But fortunately for me, i had a great backup team. My then wife and my cousin were colleagues and we always tag-teamed. I also always made up for my little flaws with personality. I smiled, i paid attention and i made menu recommendations. And i was very knowledgeable on the menu and wine. As a result, i was making more in a week, than i made in my first month at at my "real" job.
Most importantly, though, i learnt some valuable lessons. 1. Do not be rude to waitrons. 2.Always reward good service. 3. At the very least, reward PLEASANT service. I live by all the above, whenever i dine out.
Black people were and are notoriously bad tippers. That is an industry open secret. The ripple effect of that is, we will all be painted by the same brush. As a result, it is inevitable that a waiter will be five times more attentive and pleasant to a table occupied by the lighter shade, than they will to a darker hued table.
And herein lies the conundrum. If i get great service, i will reward the waiter handsomely and in the process slowly chip away at the stereotype. Good service will get the 10% bare minimum. That part is easy. However, what do i do with a surly waiter who got my order wrong three times?
If i don't tip at all, it will not teach him anything. His prejudices will still be in place, and he will continue to dish out bad service to all black patrons, while acting like a lovesick puppy to the next table who just happen to be white. On the other hand, it would NOT make sense for me to give him a tip, just because i want to prove that black people DO tip. That would just be rewarding bad service. So, what to do?
To this day, i have no answer. I have tried complaining to the manager, then giving 10%. And all that did was say to the guy "I feel bad about telling on you, so here's a tip to make up for it." I tried just tipping and never coming back to that place. But that is self-defeating on two levels. Firstly, i am now depriving myself of a place whose cuisine i probably really enjoyed. Secondly, i would have loved to come back and see if my little contribution has done anything to change this man's attitude.
So the only real option is to complain to him, the give him a 10% tip. Perhaps even mention right at the end that the tip would have been much better, had the service actually been good. Yes, it IS quite a condescending thing to do. But, heck, he brought it on himself with his bad service.
Monday 15 August 2011
Tuesday 9 August 2011
Creating Wealth the Muslim way
Much has been said about how Muslims (and Jews, for that matter) manage to build their communities by keeping the money inside. Very basic principle, buy from your own people. There are always cries for us black people to learn to do the same. My opinion: Not going to happen. Not any time soon.
Reasons vary. But i can sum it up in one word. Envy. The black community is full of envy. In a huge way. And as much as i hate to do so, we HAVE to blame apartheid first and foremost. It really taught us to hate ourselves and each other. It taught us to suspect one another and not trust each other. Worst of all, by planting spies "izimpimpi" among us, who were our own people, we became suspicious of each other's activity. So the moment you start rising up, everybody is suspicious and thinks you did it in a dubious way. The system also taught us that we were incapable of rising above our dire circumstances. That was indoctrinated into our heads. So, anybody who DOES rise is also viewed askance. They MUST have done something dodgy. There's no other explanation for it.
I can already see all the non-blacks shaking their heads and thinking "Can we not get over this apartheid already? YOU PEOPLE (don't you love it when they call us "you people"?) have been running this country for over 15 years, now." You know what? I'd love to hear ONE person telling Jewish people to "get over" the holocaust. That happened what, 70 odd years ago? But Jewish people are still allowed to have a chip on their shoulder (quite rightly so, I might add) to this day.
So, what all this means is, when i see a black man, like me, opening a shop in my neighborhood, and start being successful, my immediate thought is, he is somehow doing so at MY expense. Why on earth should I contribute to HIS growth? Next thing he will be driving a Mercedes, with MY money? Hell no! Plus he will never give me a lift in that Mercedes! I will take a taxi and go to town, thank you.
I have no solutions on this one. We WILL distrust each other for a long time still. Every prominent person in the townships is suspected of drug dealing. It is totally inconceivable that a black person could make money the legal way. Thank heavens for the lotto. Now, if you get any instant wealth, you have either won the lotto, are a thug, or have become "A BEE". I love how the term BEE (short for Black Economic Empowerment. in case you have been living under a rock for the past 16 years) has become a noun, now!
I DO, however think we can still learn one thing from Muslims....
The old patriarch in the Muslim family will build a house, a fairly big house. And when his sons come of age, (let's say 20) they will do two things. 1. They will get married. 2. They will continue living at home with their new brides. After all, the house is big enough. And I am sure we are all familiar with the jokes about Indians, they ALWAYS car pool. It is true. It is very rare to seen Indian person travelling alone in a car. Even if they have their own cars, they all jump into ONE car!
This means, they are now contributing to household expenses and chores. And they are SAVING their money. Think about this. An average townhouse nowadays costs R5 000 per month in rent. That is R60 000 per year. That is R300 000 over a 5 year period. If he puts just that away, he has enough to start a decent business in 5 years. I am not even going to go to how much money they save on other household costs. Appliances, furniture, groceries (they buy in bulk at Muslim Cash and Carry!). But, just working on the R300 000, in five years, that is a nest egg unlike any. At, 25 years of age.
Now, let us compare that to the average black man in similar circumstances. At 20, he just came out varsity, just got himself a job. First thing he does is RUN and gets himself a townhouse in Midrand. Then he needs a car. So, his starting salary of R10 000 per month is now basically R5 000 rent, R2 000 car payment and R3 000 must be spread out between household expenses, fun on the weekend, furniture (He NEEDS a new LCD and a killer sound system). Do you think he will even remember to pay off his student loan? And we have not even factored in the Carvellas that he MUST buy to go with his shiny red Velociti. Fortunately the banks have seen his future earning potential, so they will give him an overdraft and a credit card.
I think you all see where this is going. By 25, he is 3 positions up, but still living from hand to mouth, he is now listed on the credit bureau, is behind on rent, has probably moved from one apartment to the next to escape his mounting debt. And yet, miraculously, he has now moved up to a Golf 5.
Makes you think, I hope.....
Reasons vary. But i can sum it up in one word. Envy. The black community is full of envy. In a huge way. And as much as i hate to do so, we HAVE to blame apartheid first and foremost. It really taught us to hate ourselves and each other. It taught us to suspect one another and not trust each other. Worst of all, by planting spies "izimpimpi" among us, who were our own people, we became suspicious of each other's activity. So the moment you start rising up, everybody is suspicious and thinks you did it in a dubious way. The system also taught us that we were incapable of rising above our dire circumstances. That was indoctrinated into our heads. So, anybody who DOES rise is also viewed askance. They MUST have done something dodgy. There's no other explanation for it.
I can already see all the non-blacks shaking their heads and thinking "Can we not get over this apartheid already? YOU PEOPLE (don't you love it when they call us "you people"?) have been running this country for over 15 years, now." You know what? I'd love to hear ONE person telling Jewish people to "get over" the holocaust. That happened what, 70 odd years ago? But Jewish people are still allowed to have a chip on their shoulder (quite rightly so, I might add) to this day.
So, what all this means is, when i see a black man, like me, opening a shop in my neighborhood, and start being successful, my immediate thought is, he is somehow doing so at MY expense. Why on earth should I contribute to HIS growth? Next thing he will be driving a Mercedes, with MY money? Hell no! Plus he will never give me a lift in that Mercedes! I will take a taxi and go to town, thank you.
I have no solutions on this one. We WILL distrust each other for a long time still. Every prominent person in the townships is suspected of drug dealing. It is totally inconceivable that a black person could make money the legal way. Thank heavens for the lotto. Now, if you get any instant wealth, you have either won the lotto, are a thug, or have become "A BEE". I love how the term BEE (short for Black Economic Empowerment. in case you have been living under a rock for the past 16 years) has become a noun, now!
I DO, however think we can still learn one thing from Muslims....
The old patriarch in the Muslim family will build a house, a fairly big house. And when his sons come of age, (let's say 20) they will do two things. 1. They will get married. 2. They will continue living at home with their new brides. After all, the house is big enough. And I am sure we are all familiar with the jokes about Indians, they ALWAYS car pool. It is true. It is very rare to seen Indian person travelling alone in a car. Even if they have their own cars, they all jump into ONE car!
This means, they are now contributing to household expenses and chores. And they are SAVING their money. Think about this. An average townhouse nowadays costs R5 000 per month in rent. That is R60 000 per year. That is R300 000 over a 5 year period. If he puts just that away, he has enough to start a decent business in 5 years. I am not even going to go to how much money they save on other household costs. Appliances, furniture, groceries (they buy in bulk at Muslim Cash and Carry!). But, just working on the R300 000, in five years, that is a nest egg unlike any. At, 25 years of age.
Now, let us compare that to the average black man in similar circumstances. At 20, he just came out varsity, just got himself a job. First thing he does is RUN and gets himself a townhouse in Midrand. Then he needs a car. So, his starting salary of R10 000 per month is now basically R5 000 rent, R2 000 car payment and R3 000 must be spread out between household expenses, fun on the weekend, furniture (He NEEDS a new LCD and a killer sound system). Do you think he will even remember to pay off his student loan? And we have not even factored in the Carvellas that he MUST buy to go with his shiny red Velociti. Fortunately the banks have seen his future earning potential, so they will give him an overdraft and a credit card.
I think you all see where this is going. By 25, he is 3 positions up, but still living from hand to mouth, he is now listed on the credit bureau, is behind on rent, has probably moved from one apartment to the next to escape his mounting debt. And yet, miraculously, he has now moved up to a Golf 5.
Makes you think, I hope.....
Thursday 4 August 2011
And just like that......
For a while i sat there and thought "What does one blog about?" So i started off by posting my notes that were so well received on Facebook. Notes which are actually excerpts from my book. But, really, there was no point to that. After all: That is just repetition. If you want to read those, you could easily go to my FB profile and go to the notes.
So, now i had to come up with something new. Then I confronted the usual fear of a creative: How will the people receive what i write? After all, all the other stuff had already been tested to an audience. So, i knew there were at least SOME people who enjoyed it. But to just go in cold and start writing? That is breaking new ground. Virgin territory, if you will.
It takes a certain amount of arrogance to write something and get it published. Just like it takes a certain amount of arrogance to do anything creative and put it out there for people to enjoy. What you are saying is: I have something to say. I have something that I KNOW you will enjoy. I have something new and fresh and exciting to share with you. A shrinking violet will pen it and never share it with the world, for fear of rejection. Fear of criticism.
I just don't know if i have that kind of arrogance. But i am working on it. I have tried to get people interested. I have tried to get some people to boost my confidence, make me feel like what i am doing WILL be appreciated. How did i do this. I shared my writing with a select group of friends, and from there grew my circle. This way, my confidence slowly grew.
They say one of the best ways to achieve a goal is to share it with people. Tell people you are going to gym and lose 10kg. Tell people you are training to run the Comrades. That way, even when you consider quitting, you realise that you are not just letting yourself down, but all the people who believe in you as well.
So, i have made my goal very public now. I am writing a book called "Wakeup Woman!" All those who have read little excerpts from the book are awaiting the book with bated breath. I cannot falter. I cannot let them down.
The past two weeks i wrote nothing at all. I was overcome by fear. I had....no, actually, i am not even allowed to say the phrase. Once you say it you give it power. You make it real. Like Erectile Dysfunction. You never say the words out loud when you have it. No, hell, I'll say it, because i am not superstitious. I had Writer's Block. But i woke up today, and just like that.....it was gone. I am writing again.
Wish me luck!
So, now i had to come up with something new. Then I confronted the usual fear of a creative: How will the people receive what i write? After all, all the other stuff had already been tested to an audience. So, i knew there were at least SOME people who enjoyed it. But to just go in cold and start writing? That is breaking new ground. Virgin territory, if you will.
It takes a certain amount of arrogance to write something and get it published. Just like it takes a certain amount of arrogance to do anything creative and put it out there for people to enjoy. What you are saying is: I have something to say. I have something that I KNOW you will enjoy. I have something new and fresh and exciting to share with you. A shrinking violet will pen it and never share it with the world, for fear of rejection. Fear of criticism.
I just don't know if i have that kind of arrogance. But i am working on it. I have tried to get people interested. I have tried to get some people to boost my confidence, make me feel like what i am doing WILL be appreciated. How did i do this. I shared my writing with a select group of friends, and from there grew my circle. This way, my confidence slowly grew.
They say one of the best ways to achieve a goal is to share it with people. Tell people you are going to gym and lose 10kg. Tell people you are training to run the Comrades. That way, even when you consider quitting, you realise that you are not just letting yourself down, but all the people who believe in you as well.
So, i have made my goal very public now. I am writing a book called "Wakeup Woman!" All those who have read little excerpts from the book are awaiting the book with bated breath. I cannot falter. I cannot let them down.
The past two weeks i wrote nothing at all. I was overcome by fear. I had....no, actually, i am not even allowed to say the phrase. Once you say it you give it power. You make it real. Like Erectile Dysfunction. You never say the words out loud when you have it. No, hell, I'll say it, because i am not superstitious. I had Writer's Block. But i woke up today, and just like that.....it was gone. I am writing again.
Wish me luck!
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