Q: Hi bhut Linda, I've always wanted to know... What's your take on polygamy?

A: It depends.....Needless to say, in our patriarchal society, it tends to favour men more than women. However, if both parties are happy with it, then why not? I know many very happy people in polygamous setups.

Q: uncle<br /> do man even look at a fat woman??how does one catch a man's attention<br />

A: Of course they do! We all have our individual tastes. I have friends who are attracted ONLY to tiny women, while others love only big women. Don't DO anything to catch a man's attention. Be yourself, be comfortable in your own skin and if you and him find each other, then you know you can keep it up because you were being YOU.

Q: I've bn wit married man 4 3yrs(yes its wrong but nyway) he has started teln me about problems he n his wife r hAving n Askn me for advice,wen I ask him y hes teln me,he says who else must he ask. Y is he doing this?is he trying to chase me away?

A: He is MARRIED!!!! Hellooooooooo! Anybody home? What's next? Is he going to come to you and ask you to babysit while he goes on a date with his wife? Wakeup Woman! Get your own man.

Q: He says he lvs me bt he doesn col anymo.we in a distance r/shp n thats hw we communicate.askd hm y he doesn col,he says wrk is kpn hm busy.wats hs story?

A: He's just not that into you any more.

Q: (50 year old dating 24) its not a issue just wanted to know if its wrong in any level. i love the guy in fact i want a life with. my mother knows about this and she has no problem with it

A: Well....in my opinion, as long as you are happy.

Just like on tv

Many of you won't know this, but a few years ago (almost 5, i think) i did a tv ad for one of those funeral policies. It was one of those long informecials and it actually ran on tv for 4 whole years right up until mid-2011. I hated the ad!

I hated it because; 1. It just seemed so cheesy. 2. It was morbid and nobody really wants to hear you talking about death. 3. My tie was visibly crooked on most of the scenes (How did NOBODY pick that up?) 4. I kept seeing the girl I hooked up with on set (speaking of picking up). 5. (Most Importantly) I didn't really believe in the product and in the brand. I just felt like it is one of those things that they use to make people spend hard earned money on something they MAY need one day. Meanwhile they get fatter every day.

Fast forward to March 2012. A man who was like a father to me, my future father in law passed on. Like the wise man that he was, he had one of these policies with Two Mountains Funeral Services. Now, bear in mind...this is in Phalaborwa. I have been quite vocal in the past about small towns and the poor service that exists in such places.

To say that I was bowled over by the amazing service would be an understatement. Needless to say, a death is a very difficult time and my girlfriend showed amazing strength. She jumped right in and got to work, making arrangements, arranging for the proper release documentation from the hospital, death certificates and all the other red tape that you would imagine goes with a person's passing away. And whether dealing with the Two Mountains Branch in Tzaneen (where Papa passed away) or in Phalaborwa, the guys were nothing less than extremely helpful, courteous and professional. They ran around with us, got all the paper work done, took us to the Home Affairs office and everything was done within 2 hours, just as we were promised.

Let's face it, if there is one thing we have all become used to it is poor service. Especially from our own people. Even more so if the company itself is black owned. I can't tell you how many times i have complained over bad service in the past, asked for the manager, then his manager, then HIS manager, simply because every one of them was as bad as the previous one.

So to find a black owned company, in a small town, giving WORLD class service is an absolute breath of fresh air. Dignity and respect is the order of the day, from receptionist to consultants. Even the Chief Operating Officer of the company came out to ask if we were being looked after. I don't think this company has branches in the rest of the country. But, i assure you, as much as i never want to think about death...this is the dignified manner i would like to be buried in, the day my name is called.

Q: Am inlove with a 50 year old man and am 24. We work together and he makes me happy. He was married but it ended years ago. Is it wrong for me to love him or what.

Ok, here's the thing....you can love and date whoever you feel comfortable with IN THEORY. The question becomes; can you actually make the relationship work? Do you (both) have the emotional intelligence to look past the differences? This holds truw whether the difference is racial, cultural, age, religion or whatever. I must say, the fact that you are asking me the question says that it IS an issue for you already. And it says that YOU see it as a problem already. Let me illustrate my point; If he was Muslim and you were christian, would you have asked me the question? Or if he was Anglican and you were Catholic? Am guessing you wouldn't. Because it is a non issue. So, why is this one an issue? I'll tell you why. Because it also bothers you on some level.

Q: He wants se* everyday, is tht normal? We've been together for 4 years. Nt tht im complaining coz id hate it if he went seeking outside. Bt isnt tht too much se*? Oh yes i love him, i realy do.

Honestly, it is all relative. Depends on the individual. Some people believe that 3 times a day is what they expect and nothing less. It's all up to you.

Q: Hey Linda,I feel thrs more to se* than what Im gettin r used 2get. Been dating the guy who broke my virginity for almost 2yrs we r not on speaking terms now & Im tempted to taste another man. I dnt know what an orgasm feels like n hes never gone down on me.

Do guys who never go down on women still exist? REALLY? I have no idea how you tolerated that for 2 years. Look, to me it sounds like the problems in your relationship go beyond the se*ual. Maybe you just need to admit that the relationship itself is not working out.

Q: My bf says he njoys hvng sex with me.if we not doing doggy o spooning hez always on top.i wana b on top n ride hm.cn u gv advice on hw i cn make it pleasurable 4 hm?

What makes you think it is not pleasurable to him right now? Do you feel that you need to be a rump shaker and do the kwasa kwasa on his Dic* for a man to enjoy se* with you? If you absolutely MUST, then get on top of him and pretend you are playing the hula hoop.

Q: honestly am afraid of hvng a serious bf cos I knw dy don't wanna use condom(after 2months of dating) so nna can't have se* ntle le cd bf2 so I just want a se* partner sm1 am gonna call wen nature calls do u think is a bad idea

Where on earth do you FIND these guys that insist on not using condoms after 2 months? More importantly...are you telling me you are totally unable to stand up for yourself and say "That thing is coming (excuse the pun) nowhere near me unless it is in a condom. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with a shag buddy if you want one. But I am worried that your reasons for wanting one are a bit twisted.

Q: My bf n i lv eachotha vry much.we hvn problms.thng is neitha 1 of us wants 2 make da 1st mve 2 fix it.wat 2 do?

Your question makes it very hard to give any advice. 1. You are quite economical with your vowels. 2. It is not clear, from your question what the problems are exactly. I mean...are they fixable? Some differences ARE irreconcilable. That is why there is divorce. Maybe you can't be bothered to fix it because you just don't think it is worth fixing?

Q: I have a problem am so dam insecure abt everything I don't trust him at all. We've been together 4 a year the things is I waz cheated on by my X so I can't get the thoughts out of my head. How can I stop this its ruining our relship

So...basically, you are letting your ex's run your current relationship via remote control? How's THAT working out for you? Stop letting your pasts mess up your present. Your insecurity is going to drive your man away. And future men, for that matter.

Q: He beat me up in a nite club in Brooklyn Pta! No1 tried 2 help until i ws saved by the bouncers! We'v bn 2getha 4 3yrs n hs neva dun sumthn lyk dis! I saw hm holdin gal he who l8r introduced s a frnd!

From your words, I am guessing that the 2 of you are still together. So, my question is....what is your question to me? If his actions were not enough to make you leave, what do you think words will achieve?

Q: Hey uncle, my b.f and I have been dating for a month, and everythng was good between us, all of the sudden he doesnt take my calls or respond to my sms's. Judgng by hs behaviour i knw he hs lost intrest. Bt therz 1 q in my mind.... WHY?

Hit and run. He got what he wanted. (My guess). What happened or changed just before he started being dodgy?

Q: sex without a condom is far better than with, we both got tested & cleared & there\'s no chance of a pregnancy,maybe that\'s why he has all those condoms so he can use them with other women...honestly we are very responsible <br /> <br /> Miss NSA

You are so right. se* without a condom is better. In the same way that driving without a seat belt or riding a bike without a helmet is better. Just remember that if a man is having unprotected se* with you, an NSA arrangements, he could be having the same setup with other NSA's of his. "We are very responsible" is contradictory in this statement.

Q: Been seeing a guy for 3mnths now, its not a relationship, just two adults enjoying each others company and the se*. Would it be a bad idea to want more from this, we both just came out of long term relationships and it was very bad break ups.

All I can say is; You both got into this wanting NSA. The moment your agenda changes, I suggest you put it on the table. Just be prepared for the possibility that all he wants is to keep it NSA and nothing more.

Q: If hv prblms,he breakup with her,thn after few day he cum back n pretend as if nothing happend n move on.is dis luv?

I'm sorry...what?

Q: Linda he broke up with me coz I farted while sleeping and went around telling his friends. C he\'s got a very small Dic* and he knows that too doesn\'t he think I can ruin his reputation? How do I get back @him?I'm over him just want revenge.

Ok...where's the camera? Clearly I am being Punk'd! Is this Leon Schuster? Or Whackhead Simpson?

Q: w've been speeking over the phone n internet we realy do mach in most of the thing knw he want us 2 meet n im so scared coz the things he says are so wierd 4 a person u anly so a pic of like marrage n staff

He is moving too fast. Tread very carefully. Sometimes guys WILL say whatever you want to hear, just to get you, I am sure you know that (as*uming you are over 16)

Q: Hey uncle (Li) iwhere can I find yur notes? Want some ideas on how to give agood blow ;)

http://teamwakeup.blogspot.com

Q: Hi Linda,<br /> Ive been with him for 3months, I love him with every part of me. He wants me to meet the family Ive asked him to put that on hold thing is I have a 1yr old baby boy he is not the father.Im scared do you think I have reason to worry?

Only you can answer that, to be honest. From what I can see, there are two issues, here. Why do you want him to hold off meeting the folks? I as*ume because it is still early days in your relationship (for you). As for your son, he knew about him when you started dating. I don't see why it would be a problem now, if it didn't put him off back then. It will not be easy. But don't look for problems where there aren't any yet.

Q: my b.f recently gt a new job n i found owt dat he s intendin 2 make moves on colleagues , du i hv 2 confront hm ??

He is intending to make moves on colleagues? So, he is planning to make moves on colleagues he has not even met yet? How on earth do you address that? All that means is; He is permanently making moves on EVERYBODY.

Q: his family seems to come 1st.we\\\'ve been dating since Jan.I can\\\'t go to his place when his brothers r there. why is he behaving like a 14yr old at 36?Puzzled

Ok, this is a very old Qooh. So obviously this refers to Jan last year. Ok, my guess is that he was still not ready to have you meeting the family yet. Which is worrying in a relationship that is almost a year old. But everybody does things at their own pace. So, maybe he takes his time before doing the home intro.

Q: Hello Groetman!!i've been sein this guy for a mnth now,he asks bout my welbin,what are my plans,what time do i knock off,..does it mean he's genuinenly into me.

Only time and HE can tell. But don't waste your time trying to break the DaVinci code. Stop trying to interpret his words and actions. Just wait for him to say what's on his mind.

Q: Regarding my hubby who is planning a trip overseas to see his ex, I am not sure What my question is, but I have also discovered that he is asking his local ex's for casual sex on FB.*devastated*

In my opinion, the answer here is as clear as day. You are holding on to a relationship of the past. I would suggest couple's therapy, but it is clear that he is planning his exit strategy.

Q: My friend told me that she's HIV+,her man of 3years infected her.He kept on cheating on her & abused her but she stood that & worse have sex without a condom.If s/he cheats on you,love yourself enough to get out of that relationship before s/he ruins you!

I really feel for your friend. I hope her experience teaches others that just because you are in a committed relationship, you don't decide to stop using protection.

Q: we are in a distant r/ship.we brk up cos he gave me no attention nd makes me unhappy always.its a month nw nd he sent mesages 2 me on fb sayin his mind isnt free nd dsnt wnt 2 b blamed 4d brk up.is he feeling guilty of hw he treated me?do i reply his messages?

How can he NOT want to be blamed for the break up? According to what you say, he made you feel unappreciated and unloved. What is he going to do differently? Is this a case of "You never miss your water til it runs dry?" Will he stop appreciating you again once you are back together?